Regarding yesterday’s failed UDC predictions: I had no one to throw my coffee at when I learned David King never suffered a tragic dancing accident. I threw the coffee at an imaginary employee and cursed them for their incompetence. This is a therapeutic technique I recommend to all forward-thinking social analysts. It’s healthy. I’m healthy.
Something might be wrong with the UDC. What was the algorithm thinking? David’s a fit, spry young man and could probably beat me handily in a pushup competition. But yesterday our analysis concluded he had a bum knee, which would factor into the dramatic events unfolding before us.
A BUM KNEE?!
Like he’s a middle-aged junior varsity basketball coach?!
I ALREADY THREW MY COFFEE BUT I AM STILL FEELING EMOTIONS!
You know what? I’m not going to edit that last part out. I’m just going to let it ride. It’s all part of the process pushing us closer to a deterministic, understandable universe.
I will personally see to and correct any bugs in the Codex’s algorithm, even though I’m certain these poor readouts of the last few days are 100% human error.
Before I get on with today’s predictions, I want to state my gratitude for Team Zander for fixing my social accounts after they were hacked by Team Takedown. I wish him luck finding Mia, should that image of her kidnapping be real. Other than that, I must keep a professional distance from the events I attempt to study and profit from.
Let’s get to today’s analysis, THE DEVIL’S TRIANGLE.
All right, class, take out your beat map charts.
And here in the lower right is a formation I call the DEVIL’S TRIANGLE!
Threes are powerful numbers, signifying a step forward from the balance and harmony of a two, but not quite as stable as the more-material four. Follow? Good. Sometimes threes signify an idea starting to take shape, but in other instances they signal imbalance and imminent collapse.
Here, I present three powerful signifiers, Team Zander (the collective), Zander Jones (the individual), and David King. These entities are out of balance with each other, creating the drama formation called “The Devil’s Triangle.” Anything might happen in this maze of chaos, but only the Undeniable Drama Codex can predict what that will be. Ready? Here it is:
— Team Zander will do the unthinkable and commit massive property damage and vandalism in support of their idol. David King will be blamed for this. At this point, his bum knee will cause him to stumble during his perp walk into the courtroom.
— The flow of this particular devil’s triangle could result in great bodily harm, or even death!
See how yesterday’s knee prediction can still come true? That’s called “threading the needle,” folks.
Stay tuned for more predictive drama analysis as it unfolds.