Hello, everyone. Apologies for yesterday’s strangeness. I was automating posts while combing the Undeniable Drama Codex for bugs, an endeavor that has humbled me. I made a mistake by trying to predict someone’s death. After the week of disappointing results from the UDC, I guess I got carried away when I saw something that looked like a surefire bet. 

Above: Wasted venture capital that must be avenged.

Regardless of what happened, my behavior was out of line and I should have more respect for people and the losses they experience. Additionally, I apologize for the following incorrect predictions:

Zander and Dave King were brothers.
— A compromising selfie would end up on the cover of Emet’s Crossing News
— A prank in a fast food drive-thru would end in a fistfight
— Zander would bounce back from his identity theft in a heartwarming scene where his friends and neighbors pass around a hat, filling it with cash
— One of the characters has connections to an illegal miniature pony race
— The appearance of a missing uncle
— A waterslide
— Someone taking a breath, listening to reason, and committing to being less toxic
— The Codex, standing alone with vast and stupefying architecture as it metes out all drama in this world and a billion others. A malign and terrible intelligence who rewards and punishes based on the whims of a grim algorithm that no one, not even its vainglorious and bald creator can understand.

It’s all bunk.

That said, I do not apologize for how this experiment is going. In fact, I think I realize the reason why so many of the UDC’s predictions have not come to pass. You will never convince me that I was the cause. Just check out this great press I’m getting!

As of right now I am going into every line of code in the UDC and finding what points it toward unrealistic, untrue outcomes. I am going to debug this thing inside and out, and you’ll soon see that I was pretty much right about everything, even if the initial predictions were disappointing. 

Please stop harassing me on Twitter. I already said I was kinda sorry. 

At the end of the day, the stuff I got right will outweigh the things I got wrong. For example, I know that at 1:30p.m. PST, you will want to tune in to one of the following Twitch streams:

I expect that I’ll be fixing this issue for a while. I will use UDC’s predictive analysis to run posts on the blog while I’m gone. 

— Dout

Author: UndeniableDramaCodex

The Undeniable Drama Codex is the Internet’s fastest way to isolate, track, and predict social media disturbances as they happen. Our founder, J. Dout’s incredible analysis uses complex systems management to stay one step ahead of stories of dubious and low intrigue. Contact ask today to ask how your brand, business, or public persona can benefit from the Undeniable Drama Codex’s unique research. Ask for a consultation today!

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